March 2013

Ben Kingsley just turned up at her school. He talked about Shakespeare and Hamlet and then he recited a soliloquy. Or rather, the soliloquy: “To be or not to be”.

Says Z, “As each word was spoken, I was turned inside out.” She tried to explain it to her dad afterwards: “I remember telling him that I’d just decided I wasn’t going to be a scientist. It was the only thing I could think to say.“

Cue four years at Amherst College, where she studied for a B.A. in English, mentored by the poet David Sofield. This writer was on her way.

Then, almost immediately, she took a detour. One that may or may not have involved gummi bears: she worked at a factory that made them but is not entirely clear about what she did. After about a month, she left to run a small farm in Cape Cod.

One morning, around this time, it rained. Since this ruled out farming for the day, Z decided to hang out with some stoner friends. For the long version of this story, go to her website, Life in Z-D, and check out her blog “Why I Thought I Was Going to Die When I Turned 23. And Why I Was Right“, Parts I and 2. The short version boils down to this: “I began to realize that the whole “God thing” wasn’t a joke, or a crutch. God was real. Only God wasn’t what I’d thought it was. God wasn’t a cranky Caucasian senior citizen in the sky. God was energy. The energy of everything.“

So began a spiritual journey for Z, one that eventually led her to the San Francisco Bay area. There she completed a Masters in Psychology before moving to Sonoma County to work as a counselor and case manager for high-risk teenagers.

Sometimes her job required her to make home visits. One of her clients had a pit bull. You know the rest.

Z took herself to E.R. “I can barely remember what happened once I got there. I just remember the doctor told me I should take a few days off work. So I did. Once I returned to my job, I was only cleared to work part-time.
And so I found myself in an unexpectedly sweet spot. … I had space in my days. … As I glided through my days, I made a vow. I want to live like this, I said. … I wasn’t willing to put up with good enough anymore. I wanted a life of freedom and joy and fulfillment.”

She continued down her spiritual path. Completing A Course in Miracles, she realized for the first time in years that she wanted to write fiction. Within twelve months, she was working part-time, and writing four hours a day. Soon she had complete Verge, her first novel, which won the Bywater Prize for Fiction.

Leap, her second novel, has just been published. And Z is back in school, studying for a Masters in Consciousness Studies from Holmes Institute.

She lives in Santa Rosa, with Melissa. (For the story of how these two soul mates met and almost didn’t recognize each other, check out her blog. You can also write her via the site. She promises she’ll reply.)

by Caroline Curtis